1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion
20. Two atoms were traveling through a particle accelerator. One got bumped and said to the other one “I think I just lost an
electron.” The other said, “are you sure”? The first one said, “ I’m positive”.
mainstreamfair 
This is my favorite.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
and this one takes second place.
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
ohhh, these were such fun! It’s nice to read silly stuff after all the seriousness of the Anthony case, and the tragedy of this weekend. Thanks for the giggles! 🙂
Andrea, we all need to take a break, relax and smile or have a real big belly laugh.
I would like to thank Janet for sending me this video clip. Of course, this is not one of Jonathon’s relatives.
I remember that bird –
He was the “Dorito” thief, no?
CptKD
I got a real, good laugh out of the “seagull goes shoplifting” video. It’s priceless!
He has it so down pat, I believe he must have done this before. “lol”